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LYRICS (written with the help of the unbearables)
There is a man who’s afraid of dairy
and he takes pride that his chest never got hairy
On his drivers license gender just says other
his role model and his best friend was and still is his lesbian mother
Can’t give the D cuz he has low T
Trump tweets give him PTSD and he always sits to pee
He’s a buzzfeed foodie blogger which means he’s unemployed
And he’s always pissy and a bit bitchy cuz he is bloated from soy
He’s a soy boy
He’s so annoyed
Hes a soy boy
He feels no joy
Weak chin and soft hands with a lot of demands he’s got mammary glands
He says his cat is trans from all that soy
He’s a soy boy and he’s awful to be around

He was convinced was convinced shaun king is black and Caitlyn’s a chick
His ankles are thick and he always says Colin kaepernick should have been a first round pick
He’s an ally to women when he’s marching in the streets
But don’t drink with him cuz he’s rapey in the sheets

He views opinions as attacks
He talks real dirty to Alexa cuz Alexa won’t fight back
He thinks every male comedian is a hack
His imaginary friends are all black
And even Alexa the robot won’t call him back

He’s a soy boy
He’s a soy boy

He’s a soy boy
He’s so annoyed
He’s a soy boy
Always wreaks of soy
His gender is soy
His opinions are soy
He’s a soycialist
And he’s always pissed
At his soylent ween thats
And looks like a small soy bean
And he’s never clean
Like Charlie sheen
And he’s awful to be around

If it wasn’t for my dad’s weiner and my mom’s “ok,” there would be no Owen Benjamin. Piano brought me to stand up comedy. I’ve had two Comedy Central specials. I’m tall but suck at basketball, I’m smart but can’t spell, I’m nice but kind of a dick.

I’ve been in some movies: House Bunny, Staten Island Summer w/ SNL cast, Bucky Larson w/ Nick Swardson, Jack and Jill w/ Adam Sandler.

Also some TV shows: Sullivan and Son – produced by Vince Vaughn, Leno, Fallon, and Bar Rescue.

You may have seen/heard me in podcasts: Joe Rogan, Adam Corolla, Steven Crowder, and the Impractical Jokers podcast. for tour dates