A poem by my friend Nick Pepe, music by Beethoven
It’s all true. Google any line. This is how they are trying to take us down.
Wearing hoop earrings became racist. Not being able to get french fries at a Taco Bell became racist. The solar eclipse became racist. Cotton became racist. Math became racist. Red hats became racist. The National Anthem lyrics became racist. The American Flag became racist. The Electoral Collegebecame racist. Halloween costumes became racist. Western Civilizationbecame racist. The Constitution became racist. Body lotion became racist. Border security became racist. Not believing you were racist became racist. Being white became racist. And although the need for $12 soy lattes had always been questionable, building coffee shops became racist.
And since everything was racist, everything had to change. Everything had to be banned. Everything had to be equal.
If it wasn’t for my dad’s weiner and my mom’s “ok,” there would be no Owen Benjamin. Piano brought me to stand up comedy. I’ve had two Comedy Central specials. I’m tall but suck at basketball, I’m smart but can’t spell, I’m nice but kind of a dick.
I’ve been in some movies: House Bunny, Staten Island Summer w/ SNL cast, Bucky Larson w/ Nick Swardson, Jack and Jill w/ Adam Sandler.
Also some TV shows: Sullivan and Son – produced by Vince Vaughn, Leno, Fallon, and Bar Rescue.
You may have seen/heard me in podcasts: Joe Rogan, Adam Corolla, Steven Crowder, and the Impractical Jokers podcast.
http://Hugepianist.com for tour dates